Sitting in the Starbucks today at lunch, Dan and I were having a conversation about how they were actually playing some good music, instead of the crapola they usually play. I don’t mind the crapola as much as Dan does, but often they play stuff that you would never hear on the radio.
We are eating lunch, and suddenly Tears In Heaven by Eric Clapton comes on. And I am sitting there, thinking about the music, and for a few moments I wondered if we played this at Laurianne’s memorial service. And I thought about that day and the slide show, and Blue Eyes and Tears In Heaven. And right there, in the middle of Starbucks during a conversation about good music, I burst into tears. Let me just say, since we didn’t have napkins at the table, it was a good thing I have a few in my pocket!
I don’t think Dan really knew what to make of it at first.
And I said, “They played this at Laurianne’s funeral.”
And he said, “I know.”
And then I left. I sat outside until the song was over. When I came back into the store, there was no music at all. None. Until I sat down with Dan again. It was eerie.
It has been over two years, and I still can’t listen to Blue Eyes, and apparently, not Tears in Heaven either. I wonder if it will always be that way.
Do you know?
Music is like scent. Both are able to bring up certain memories in a heartbeat. I still remember things that are associated with music. Will it ever change? I don’t think so. But I think that eventually it won’t hurt as badly. I used to cry at some songs, but now I just feel a moment of sadness and then it’s gone.
I hope eventually, it happens for you too.
I am the same way about the songs at dad’s funeral. So I guess I will have it for a while too huh?
I like what MM said. I agree.
It’s been almost 8 years for me and I still cry sometimes. But I laugh, too. Don’t forget about the times you laugh with your memories of Laurianne.
Aww, I’m so, so sorry. I do know what you mean. It’s happened to me in the car, but thankfully not in a public place yet. What MM said was so true…it is like a scent, and it’s like you’re right back there all over again.
It’s a little weird, I think, that you just had a dream about your sister, and then this song came on out of nowhere when there was no other music. It’s like she’s trying to let you know she’s with you. Not that you don’t already know that, but you know what I mean.
I’m so sorry.
((((HUGS)))))
((hugs)) Girl I am so sorry and I do know the feeling. We played On Eagle’s Wings at my grandmother’s funeral in 1989 and I still to this day will bust out crying when I hear it. I guess it just takes hold of you when you least expect it. As long as she is in your heart you will forever get those feelings. Hopefully, one day you will hear it and not cry but when I cannot tell you!
I’m the exact opposite. I requested the song “There You’ll Be” to be played right after my eulogy at my Mom’s funeral….
I could still just sit there and enjoy the words to this day. (Which I do sometimes)
I guess it’s all different for folks…
I still get emotional hearing songs that were played at my Dad’s funeral… and next month that will be 11 years ago… I get the same with music he really liked… Although over the years they also sometimes bring a smile to my face because of fond memories working their way in…
Well- I can only base my answer on how I still won’t listen to songs from certain eras involving certain exes, in which case I’d say “no, that will never change” but… I could be wrong. However, it’s not normal for a song that usually upsets us to suddenly become the song that we’re happy to hear.
‘Grief Bursts’ are what I call them. They can be so painful, especially when in a public place, but I think it’s just her letting you know that she’s with you.
(((Hugs)))
I love metalmom’s analogy that music is like scent. Certain songs trigger sharp emotional responses, at least for me. There are one or two I still can’t listen to because of who they remind me of or things that have happened. It is a strange thing, how music affects me. One line of one song can bring lots of emotions and scenes rushing back and I am transpported to that time when that song was important. I believe it will always be there but maybe not so potent after some more time.