BMV Creates [Soul Shard].

A few months ago, Dan and I got a letter from the Bureau of Motor Vehicles (BMV) stating that we needed to take care of something with our car. Dan went in, took care of it. I remember him telling me they had his license wrong, so he had to get his social security corrected as well. Dan took care of it, end of problem. Or, so I thought.

A couple of weeks ago, I got a letter stating that I received several letters that I needed to have my driver’s license corrected, and if I did not get it corrected by 3/15/08, it would be suspended and I would have to go to court to have it reactivated. What?! What letters? The only thing I can figure was that it was the stuff with the car. I told Dan about it, and he said, “Oh, yeah. Remember I had to have my social security fixed?” Oh, well, ok.

So, Dan and I head into the BMV on lunch Wednesday of last week. The woman asks me if my license is the same name as my driver’s license. I said, “yes” thinking that my Driver’s License and Social Security have both my first and married name on it. She couldn’t find me in the computer. She looks me up by name, and finds my social security isn’t in their computer at all. Then she says, “Is Lynda K******* S******* the name on your Social Security?” I tell her no, it’s just my first and last name, not my maiden name. So she says, “This is why I asked if it was exactly the same.” Anyway, I find out they can’t change my social security without looking at it. Then she gives me the paperwork to go to the Social Security office.

Well, I look for my card, and it isn’t where it is suppose to be. It doesn’t matter though, because it doesn’t have my name how I want it on my driver’s license. So, the next day, Dan and I trek to the Social Security office. They have this large computer that spits out a number, not dissimilar to those little red number machines, but I bet a hell of a lot more expensive. There is a TV with bad reception in there. Dan and I watch whatever daytime show is on and make comments. The waiting area grows more and more crowded. Someone changes the channel to Sesame Street. Kids crowd around where Dan and I are sitting. Between the tiny wait area, the kids, and Elmo’s squeeky voice, I grow a little claustrophic, and then my number is called.

The lady is nice. The first thing I say is, “I am one of the hunderds of people who the BMV….” and she said, “Oh, no. Not hundreds. Try 400 thousand.” So, I say, “I am one of the 400 thousand people who the BMV wants their name to match their social security card.” I put on my application how I wanted my name to be. But apparently, I can’t have it my way. Social Security isn’t Burger King. So, instead of Lynda E********* P********* K*********** S********, which is what I want on my legal stuff, my documentation says Lynda E********** S***********. One middle name, one last name. Then they print a letter for the BMV.

Back to the BMV. The day before, Dan and I discussed having my license renewed. Dan went into this big speal about not wanting the government collect extra interest on our money. I told him it was a driver’s license, not taxes! What a goofball. Anyway, I told him, “I am getting my new license.” He agreed, because it was past the point of arguement. Well, then the BMV lady, who also was nice, had to get all the stuff sorted out. A team leader came by. Dan made some comment about all the name changes, and she said, “It’s mostly women, because we change our names so much.” I tell her the whole name thing I went through at Social Security, and she said, “They could have put your full name on your card. They are the ones who are in control of that.”

Anyway, all the crap gets sorted, and I tell the woman that when I got my driver’s license picture taken last my hair was really short, and I told them that next time I would have long hair again. She chuckles. Then she pulls me up on the computer. She says, “You have long hair in this picture.” I said, “Really? My first Driver’s License had long hair. Can I see the picture?” She said, “Let me go back.” She shows me the picture and sure enough, it’s my first Driver’s License picture. She told me it was weird, because it should have been overwritten by my latest picture, which she said looked different. I am having a lot of faith in the BMV at this point. Not!

Anyway, she takes my picture. It comes out great, because I take good Driver’s License pictures for some reason. I never had a bad one. I could have it put on a t-shirt and give it to my mom for Christmas. I wait for it to process, and then she calls me over. And the new license is PINK! I can’t believe it. My face was pink too, from my rosacea. It match perfectly.

I am curious, when Dan gets his license renewed, if  his card will be blue. I am betting it’s macho pink. All and all, it was a hassle, but at least we are good until the BMV fucks up again.