From Texas, there was New Mexico, where I got my kicks:

Getting my kicks on Route 66

A stop in Arizona, in the town of Williams:

A train to the Grand Canyon! Brilliant!

I lost three bucks in Laughlin, Nevada. Damn slot machines.

Laughlin, Nevada Casino

 I saw a dolled up 1998 Honda Oddessy in California on the final stretch to my parents’ home:

The Vain Van - www.braball.com

I tried to take my picture in one of the mirrors:

Self-Portrait (sort of)

Finally, we reach our destination:

Nikki relaxes after the long trip

On October 8th, a woman and her dog began an adventure.

They went to the St. Louis Gateway Arch:

St. Louis Arch

Stopped in Branson, Missouri:

Wanna buy a coo-coo clock? Only $15, 999.99 for this one!

Went to Oklahoma City:

Drove through Texas:

Only picture of Texas I took.

I haven’t really had much to say lately. And for all the not blogging I have done, I have done my best to *NOT* do a sorry I haven’t blogged, here is a blog post for you and false promises that I will update more regularly. Sometimes I see the question floating around “Do you blog more for others or for yourself?” I feel I blog for myself. Somehow people started flocking here. I like the comments, for the most part. I may have even done some posts for others, like meme’s. But in the end, writing is an outlet for me. The fact that I have made friends through blogging just makes it more special.

The other day, for no reason that I can muster except that I don’t comment as much or post as much as I use to, I got the comment: As you don’t seem to care about anyone else, you might want to think who cares about you….

Um…ouch. I don’t remember posting anything that said I am a cruel, heartless, uncaring bitch. I can’t figure it out. I tried to decide if I should approach this person by email, and ask them what they meant. But I decided to ignore it. This person has formed some conception of me, and personally I don’t feel I need to convince them that I think their conception of me is wrong. I’m not going to promise them that I will read their blog more or make more comments or try to even guess where this is coming from.

Instead, I choose to blog about it. The comment is there, in the open. It’s fair game to post about. There are some things that I have chosen not to blog about. I figure that is my perrogative. Because to me, blogging is like talking to a group of friends in a crowded restaurant. Anyone can come here and read this. I will keep to myself things I don’t want just anyone to overhear. Maybe, because of this, I don’t have as much to say, so I just listen.

If you want to write me off because of that, all the best to you.

I stole this from Libragirl.

**FOODOLOGY**

What is your salad dressing of choice?
I like my salads naked.

What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
P.F. Chang’s

What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?
Chocolate

What are your pizza toppings of choice?
Whatever goes on a combination pizza.

What do you like to put on your toast?
Butter

**TECHNOLOGY**

What is your wallpaper on your computer?
A picture I took of the golden gate bridge.

How many televisions are in your house?
one

What color cell phone do you have?
Black and silver

**BIOLOGY**

Are you right-handed or left-handed?
Right

Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
Blood, cysts, a freckle on my lip

What is the last heavy item you lifted?
Dog food, probably

Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
No

**BULLCRAPOLOGY**

If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
Why, do you know this information?

If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
Lila Doodlenoodle

Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
Shouldn’t this question be under Dumology?

**DUMOLOGY**

How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
None, I don’t like stuff between my toes.

Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
When we had the wrong license plate on our car due to a DMV error. (I assume run-in meaning, I did something wrong)

What did you want to be when you grew up?
Writer, teacher, veterinarian, dog trainer of guide dogs, deaf school teacher, speech pathologist, astronaut, girl mechanic, hair stylist, and I am sure there is more because I wanted to be a lot of things when I grew up. I still haven’t figured it out though.

Last person you talked to?
Dan

Last person you hugged?
Dan

**FAVORITOLOGY**

Season?
Fall

Holiday?
Halloween, though technically it isn’t a holiday since there really isn’t anything holy about it. And you don’t get the day off work.

Day of the week?
Saturday

**CURRENTOLOGY**

Missing someone?
Yes

Mood?
Happy

Listening to?
My computer hum.

Watching?
The computer monitor

Worrying about?
Everything

**RANDOMOLOGY**

First place you went this morning?
The bathroom

What can you not wait to do?
Lose weight. Can it be gone already!?

What’s the last movie you saw?
Bowling for Columbine

Do you smile often?
I try to, but I think I smile less than I use to. Probably because I am worrying about everything.

Today is my 35th birthday. My mom can’t believe it, and honestly, I don’t feel like 35. The younger crowd might think it an old age, but I don’t feel old.

Today I learned:

-that big dogs puke big. Many times. (Poor Nikki)

-My sister is still around to wish me a happy birthday.  (She always would say to me, “Debbie Gibson’s birthday is today too!” I had forgotten until this afternoon when it popped into my head.)

-People will remember your birthday but your mom will remember most of all. (She was the first to day happy birthday.)

In slightly more than a week, I will be in California walking for Relay For Life. I know everyone has causes they like to support, but I would appreciate it if you visited my Relay For Life page, and let others know about this walk in memory of my sister, Laurianne. All donations are appreciated.

I read blogs about people who have great relationships with their siblings, or their siblings drive them batty at every turn. Some of you have problems with your siblings, however big or small. Some of you have children, who hopefully will grow up together to become good people, whether they drive each other crazy or not. But imagine if that was all taken away. How petty would the arguments be if your sibling wasn’t there anymore. Or if you suddenly lost one of your children. Because, that’s what happened to my family.

Laurianne as a baby

When my sister was born, I hated her. Maybe hate is too strong of a word, but imagine this little bundle of noise coming into your home after your mom leaves a few days, and she gets all the attention. Not to mention, only two short years ago, they brought home something called a brother. The brother wasn’t too bad, he had brown eyes too. But this kid, she had “the most beautiful blue eyes”. Seriously, I couldn’t get away from hearing about it. Strangers would stop my mom and tell her about her baby’s beautiful blue eyes, and I would cry, “But what about my eyes!” And my mom would say, “You have beautiful brown eyes too!” Then her hair started to grow in. And the compliments started to get worse.

Laurianne on the Beach

“Oh my goodness, look at that hair!” Yes, while my brother and I had brown eyes, and blondish-brown hair, my sister somehow became the chosen one with blue eyes and platinum blonde hair. My brother and I would not stop hearing about it.

But this started to work in my favor. When my school had a candy bar drive, my mom took my two year old sister around the neighborhood to help me sell candy bars. And my sister couldn’t get the price right. They were a dollar. She would ask people if they would like to buy a candy bar for $2. But she was so cute, most of the time the ladies who answered the door would say, “Oh, just give me a second candy bar.” Later on, as we were growing up, she became my chief sales person for girls scout cookies. And because her big sister was a girl scout, she decided to join a troop as well. And, dare I say it, was she actually starting to be fun to be around?

The Three of Us

Sure we had our difference. There was her New Kids on the Block phase. I still remember songs because of how loud she would play it. There were times I would babysit for my brother and sister, and they would almost seem to gang up on me. But we had good times too. I remember Laurianne and I going for makeovers at The Emporium, a now defunct department store, and then rushing home to take pictures of each other. She had a green dress that she loved to wear.

Fun Times

When she was 18 or 19, she decided to become a nanny. She had always wanted to live in New Jersey, and New York was fine for her too, so she moved in with a couple who had a young child. Later, they had a baby so Laurianne was nanny for two young kids. She enjoyed her time, and loved the kids. She moved back to California for a while, and then to New York again where she worked for the same family until she struck out on her own. Because Dan and I lived closer to her in Indiana, she asked if she could visit us for Thanksgiving. The first year she did this, I remember going up to Nappenee to see Amish communities. We did some internet research and found a group called The Electric Amish which had various songs on their website that we laughed over. I could make her giggle every time just by saying, “Like a mule eating a carrot!,” a line from one of the song.

Nappenee

I remember the second Thanksgiving. She said she didn’t want to visit because she wanted to see the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. Laurianne was very good about achieving her goals, whether it be graduating high school early or going to Holland, and so there was no talking her out of it. I talked with her later that night, and she didn’t really enjoy herself. I remember her exclaim, “I went to five McDonald’s and not one of them was open!” She decided to visit us again next year. And the next year, she told me she was pregnant.

If you know the history, you would know Laurianne’s pregnancy wasn’t an easy one. Doctor’s couldn’t really figure out why. Then Calem was born and three days after that, Laurianne found out she had cancer. I still think it is an injustice, that she had to pour all her love for her baby into four and a half short months. Some days, she would just be too tired, especially towards the end of her treatment. She and I would chat on the phone and she told me how she planned to walk in Relay for Life. That year, I couldn’t make it, so she said to me, “Don’t worry, Lynda. We will plan for you to be out here next year, and you can walk with me then.”

Laurianne at Relay For Life

But she wasn’t there physically, the next year. I wore the pink hat she is wearing in this picture, and carried her son around the track during the opening ceremony dedicated to her, and I knew she was still there with me in spirit, walking with me.

But mostly, I will never forget when Dan and I flew out to California to visit and see Calem for the first time. Laurianne and I decided to go for a walk around the block, a major feat for someone who only had 2% lung capacity in one lung. As we were walking around the block, two ladies as old as our grandmother drove up in an older vehicle. They call out, “Excuse me, do you know where the Merlot Gardens are?” Laurianne told me to stay with Calem, and she walked over and pointed them in the right direction. The lady in the passenger seat said, “Thank you, dear.” Then she kind of did a gasp and said, “You have the most beautiful blue eyes I have ever seen.” Laurianne said thank you. And as we started walking again, she pats me on the arm and says, “Don’t worry, Lynda. You have beautiful brown eyes too.”

The last two days at my contracting job with IBM were incredibly boring. I did phone training with the person who replaced me in Texas, and I don’t really think she grasped that she would only have those two days to get the information she needed. The last afternoon she called and one of the people I worked with called needing help. I got that all straightened out but for a fleeting moment, I wondered how long she would survive.

Being laid off has been great for me though. I have lost weight. I feel happier. I am getting things done around the house that I have felt needed to get done for a while. Yet, I feel restless. I feel like I should be on the move.

I am thinking of taking a day trip with Nikki soon. Me, the dog and the camera. I better pack water, though. It’s been hot here.

My last two days of work were pretty much just sitting around. That Monday, we had a pitch-in (or a potluck in most parts of the country!) and Tuesday we cleaned up the last of our stuff. Ok, I found an internet game a played that. It was kind of bittersweet, I guess. Wednesday, I was kind of depressed about the whole situation, and Thursday I pulled out of it. Then I just took some time for me. I haven’t felt like writing, even though I wanted to share about my new laptop, vacation and all that, I just hadn’t been motivated to write about it all. I think part of it is that I have been thinking of a lot of different things in my life right now, things I don’t necessarily want to share with the world.

At the end of the month, I will be turning 35. For the first time, I find my birthday kind of depressing. Thirty-five isn’t really that old, but there is so much I want to see and do, and I feel like time is just ticking away from me. A week afterwards, I will be going to Relay For Life again. I feel kind of bad that I haven’t promoted this event as much as I have in the past. In recent years, I have asked you all for donations. I don’t really have many friends in the area I live in, and I never feel right asking a neighbor. As for co-workers, well, I don’t have them at the moment. My old job wouldn’t let me ask anyway.

I have finally, after a year, come up with what I think will be my domain name. I am just not sure. I really would like something that is personal to me. I thought of naming myself after one of my online persona’s because I realized how much my online names have become a part of me. Heck, if I get a domain, I may even switch to one of those names. No sense getting in trouble because some potential employer sees this and doesn’t like what they read.

But for all this rambling, there really isn’t much going on with me right now.

I have two days of work left.

You know what I am doing these two days.

Monday – eating because we decided to throw ourselves a good-bye party.

Tuesday – sitting at my desk hoping they don’t take my internets away early. I better bring a book Tuesday.

The powers that be decided that the new assistants would start with our clients Monday, so we pretty much have no work after that and will be sitting with our thumbs up our asses. After Tuesday, I feel I can write whatever the heck I want on the subject, though, I probably won’t because 1) potential employeers my find my blog and 2) it just isn’t that interesting.

Gotta love corporate America though!

So, I have read on a few blogs that people are talking about the term Alpha Blogging.

I never heard this term before. I didn’t really look into it, honestly. Here is what I gathered. But let me disect it.

Alpha – leader of the pack, top dog

Blogging – an online journal

Alpha Blogging – leader in writing an online journal?

I am pretty sure I don’t qualify. But, if you are following me, and you think that I am an Alpha Blogger, I have a little advice for you. Stop following me because I don’t know where the hell I am going!